The heterosexual male attraction to the female breast is one of the truly mysterious phenomena of the universe. On the face of it, there is little logic to it. Men are drawn to the round, milk-producing protuberances emanating from a woman's chest.

Curiously, men have breasts of their own. And -- though they are about as useful as a snow shovel in the Sahara -- men have nipples as well. So why should men be so attracted to the female variant which, in point of fact, differs little from their own anatomy?

Dr. Stephen McDougal, Phd. says: "I'd say it has something to do with what breasts symbolize. There's something uniquely feminine - hyperfeminine, if you will -- about the female breast. It's soft, it's inviting, it's comforting, and it's curvy. And it's just different enough from what we've got on our chest to be mysterious, erotic -- other."

He also adds: "As for size, well, the bigger the breasts are, the more mysterious, erotic, other. Some (Freudians mostly) will tell you that men are drawn to a woman's breasts because we seek the vaguely sexual infantile memory of maternal breastfeeding. This, in my view, is poppycock. There is simply something about the breast that is emblematic of everything female. Get to see it, and you've glimpsed a beautiful nether region. Get to touch it and it's like going through the gates of Shangri-la."

By the way, not all men are turned on by big breasts. Indeed, many a man is jazzed by smaller cup sizes. Vive le difference!